What You're Thinking When He's Not Texting Back

Now I don’t know about you, but I’m all about overthinking. If someone were to write a book on how to overthink absolutely everything in life, it would be me. Give me a conclusion, I’ll jump to it. If you don’t believe me, let’s go through my thought process when a guy I like doesn’t respond to my text within one hour.

Let’s say I send him “Hey” at 3:25pm. This is how the rest of the hour goes, inside my head. 

3:26pm

I’m sure he’s just busy and not looking at his phone. No problem, I’m patient.

3:27pm

Still nothing. He’s probably just working right now.

3:30pm

 Is he charging his phone?

3:45pm

Maybe he IS dating that girl in that photo he was tagged in 36 weeks ago. Ugh, I knew it.

3:55pm

Let’s just check and see if he’s active on social media. I doubt he is, but at least then I’ll know for sure he’s just busy. Which I’m sure he totally is.

3:56pm

Okay, that’s weird. Five minutes ago he liked 3 photos on Instagram.

3:57pm

Wait, who’s Shelby? I guess he’s too busy liking pictures of her on vacation to notice my super fun conversation starter that only took 25 minutes, three friends, and a glass of wine to craft.

4:00pm

I bet my “hey” came off desperate and clingy so now he’s just never going to talk to me again.

4:03pm

I don’t even care! Honestly, I have better things to do then worry about this.

- Receives new text message –

 OH MY GOD, YES OKAY, EVERYTHING IS FINE… just kidding it’s my mom.

4:10pm

I’m going to post a hot selfie on Instagram just so he can see what he’s missing. I mean, sure, Shelby has a perfect bikini body and a natural glow to her skin that makes it look like she's wearing highligher even when she's not, but I'm a solid 8.5. Sometimes even a 9 in certain lighting.

4:12

Well, he’s active on Facebook chat. I guess it’s safe to say he hates me and never wants to speak to me again.

4:14

Like what, does he just hate fun people? Maybe I'm too fun for him and he’s intimidated.

4:20

Maybe it’s because the last time I talked to him, I mentioned that I had cats and it freaked him out. He probably thinks my only friends are my cats and no one likes me.

4:25

You know what? I don’t need this. I have a great job, two cats that adore me, three seasons left of that Netflix show I started, and a half bottle of Prosecco in the fridge. I’m fine. Honestly? I’m happy he didn’t text me. I’m too busy for a relationship anyways.

4:30

-Guy texts back-

 Nevermind!